Can’t make it to Star Wars opening weekend? Save yourself from spoilers!

Force-Awakens

Ok, we all know it’s going to be a mad house at the theaters for the next month. We all want to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens as soon as possible but sometimes you just have to wait. However, with the internet and media and friends and family all seeing the film, there is a very good chance it might get spoiled. Well don’t worry. There is actually a browser extension that you can download to block all Star Wars spoilers! The extension will safely block any and all Star Wars related content and replace it with Star Wars quotes.

The Mary Sue has your back and is reporting on an Internet browser extension that will keep Star Wars off your page views! Reporter Dan Van Winkle says:

Now you can safely preserve your Force Awakens innocence until you see it with your own two eyes.

Star-Wars-spoiler-alert

How cool is that?! We live in a day and age where things get spoiled quite often. This should be made for everything. But until then, remember your Jedi training, board the Millennium Falcon and get the Force Block: the Star Wars spoiler blocker!

How do you feel about the recent trend in horror movies?

itFollows

In an A.V. Club article, Noel Murray discusses a new trend in horror in the 2010s: terror that won’t quit. He says:

 

With It Follows and The Babadook, there’s never much of a sigh-of-relief moment. In the former, a group of young folks who’ve been infected by the film’s “sexually transmitted invisible serial killer” disease trap their nemesis and make it bleed, but never actually see it die. In the latter, the top-hatted shadow-beast who haunts a widowed mother and her hyperactive son tacitly agrees not to be so annoying, but it doesn’t go away. And in both, the usual rhythm of slow-build, intensification, release is ditched in favor of persistent unease, punctuated regularly by shattering terror.

Read more here!

Movie Review “Halloween III: Season of the Witch”

To get into the Halloween spirit, Keith reviews a very underrated and underappreciated Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Why is it underrated? Read on to find out!

“Halloween III: Season of the Witch” is probably one of the most unjustly hated horror films of all time. Most fans of the series refuse to acknowledge the fact that it even exists, simply because it doesn’t feature the masked slasher Michael Myers. Their loss.

The idea behind “Halloween III” probably seemed logical at the time. Michael Myers had been blown up and burnt to a crisp at the end of the previous film, so the producers decided that they would simply continue the series with a new, unrelated horror film under the “Halloween” banner every year. Toxic fanboy reaction and anemic box office returns for “Season of the Witch” quickly showed them the error of their ways and thus all of the “Halloween” films that have followed over the years brought back Mr. Myers in an increasingly silly parade of non-essential sequels. (I mean, seriously, have you seen “Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers” or “Halloween: Resurrection?” Ugh.) As for “Halloween III,” it may not be a perfect film but Lord knows it’s certainly better than many of the Myers retreads that followed in its wake. Director Tommy Lee Wallace takes the viewer out of the slasher realm entirely and plunges us into an exceedingly dark, sci-fi tinged tale of modern day witchcraft on a global scale, with a plot to kill millions of American children (!) on Halloween. Genre vet Tom Atkins (of “Escape From New York” and “Maniac Cop” fame) leads the cast as Dan Challis, a recently divorced doctor with a penchant for drinking, who is unlucky enough to be on hospital duty when a crazed man is brought into the E.R., clutching a rubber Halloween mask in his fist and repeatedly saying “They’re going to kill us all!” Shortly thereafter, the man (who happens to be placed in the unlucky room number 13) gets his skull crushed by a mysterious, business suited intruder who then blows himself up in the hospital parking lot. When the dead man’s daughter “Ellie” (the attractive Stacey Nelkin)arrives at the hospital and reveals to Challis that the last place he was seen alive was at the Silver Shamrock Halloween mask factory, he agrees to accompany her to the factory and find out if anything sinister is going on.

The Silver Shamrock factory sits in the deceptively happy looking town of Santa Mira, where TV cameras watch your every move and all residents have a 6 PM curfew. Challis and Ellie shack up together at the local motel (shoe-horning in a quick romantic subplot that seems unnecessary at best, but at least we get to see Ellie in lingerie) with some other Silver Shamrock customers, all of whom are of course doomed to meet horrible fates before the movie’s end. Turns out that the owner of the Silver Shamrock company, a charming looking old Irish guy named Cochran (a hilariously sinister turn by Dan O’Herlihy) is an old school Druid who’s planning a Halloween “trick” to end all tricks on the Big Day. All of his company’s masks contain a tiny transmitter that is set to activate (with fatal results) on Halloween night when a child wearing it watches the company-sponsored “Big Giveaway” on television. (By the way, it will be impossible not to get that damned “Silver Shamrock” TV commercial jingle stuck in your head for the next several days after viewing this film.) We get to watch the company “test” one of the masks on a suburban family and the gooey results will be a gorehound’s delight. Needless to say, Atkins must escape from the madman’s clutches and struggle to warn the population before zero hour.

Sure it sounds looney, and it actually is quite a ridiculous plot, but the movie totally sells it. Plot holes abound (was Ellie a robot the entire time? How the hell did Cochran’s company manage to steal a piece of Stonehenge? Are American kids THAT susceptible to TV ads that they’d all wear one of only three different Halloween masks nationwide? How are those snakes and bugs able to spontaneously generate from within the masks?), but the film moves along briskly enough from one shock to the next without giving the viewer much time to worry about it. The ending is likewise one of the bleakest in ’80s horror history.

Say what you want about “Halloween III” but one thing’s for sure, it’s definitely not another run of the mill slasher flick. It’s a nice mix of elements from the creeping paranoid sci-fi/horror flicks of the ’50s (well, hell, Santa Mira was also the setting of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” y’know) and the gory, synthesizer-driven horror flicks of the ’80s (seriously, the score by John Carpenter himself and Alan Howarth is creepy as hell). I can’t help but think that if this film had originally been released as “Season of the Witch” back in 1982, without the “Halloween” tag attached to it, that it would be more fondly remembered by horror geeks today.

Unless you’re one of those hardcore “No Michael Myers, no Halloween” fanboys, “III: Season of the Witch” is worth a look and deserves to be part of your annual Halloween Horror viewing slate.

Brought to you by Keith Abt, the Dollar DVD Guy. He suffers through these movies so YOU don’t have to!


3.5 Headstones out of 5

Movie Review “Battlefield Earth”

This week we sit Keith down to check out the infamous “Battlefield Earth“. Will he survive this scientology mess? Read on to find out!

As a “B” movie/bad-movie geek, I have a masochistic urge to seek out any and all films that have been tagged as the “Worst Ever” to watch and find out for myself if they’re really as bad as everyone says. In the case of 2000’s legendary flop “Battlefield Earth,” the critics and public were most definitely right on the money.

First, some background. I resisted checking out “Battlefield Earth” for over a decade till I recently picked up the DVD at a store that was going out of business. With the clearing-house prices going on there at the time, it cost me less than a buck. I figured at that price, even if the movie totally sucked, I could use the disc as a beer coaster and still feel like I got my money’s worth. A week or two later I sat down to watch and was so bored that I said “Screw this” and bailed out on it after about forty minutes, which is something I rarely, if EVER, do with a movie. My film-goer’s O.C.D. will not allow me to leave a movie unfinished, however, so I knew that I would have to go back to the film and see it in its entirety at some point.

Flash forward a few months. I’m home sick from work with an absolutely brutal stomach virus and praying for death anyway, so I figure since I’m already miserable, I may as well give “Battlefield Earth” another whirl. I did make it through the entire film this time, mainly due to the fact that I was too tired and weak to reach for the “stop” button on my DVD player. So how bad was “Battlefield Earth?” Absolutely wretched! If this movie supposedly cost upwards of $50 million, why does everything look like a cheap SyFy Channel Original? The story is ludicrous, the acting is terrible, sets and costumes are painful to the eyes, and the pacing is absolutely slug-like. The only member of the cast who looks like he’s having any fun at all is John Travolta (this film was supposedly a dream project of his for several decades; I wonder how he looks back on it now), as the alien bad guy “Terl,” who resembles a Klingon with boogers permanently hanging from his nose. We’re supposed to swallow the idea that after an alien invasion of Earth by a race of bureaucrats called the Psychlos, humanity has spent the last millennium narrowly avoiding extinction by reverting back into tribes of nomadic, moronic cavemen. Thankfully one of said humans, Jonny “Goodboy” Tyler (Barry Pepper in a career killing performance) believes there must be more to life than this, and leaves his tribe to see what’s out there in the big wide world. Naturally, he gets captured by the Psychlos within five minutes, and after spending a good chunk of the film getting thrown into a variety of cells, having a bunch of slow-motion fist fights with alien guards and other human captives, and going “ARRRRRRRGH!” a lot, Jonny’s lucky enough to get chosen by Travolta’s character for a special slave-labor chore which necessitates being educated by one of the aliens’ “Intelligence Machines.” Unfortunately for the bad guys, this gives Jonny the smarts to not only understand things like complex machinery and mathematics, but also the ability to teach these concepts to the other captive humans and inspire them to fight. Thus, in the last quarter of the film the rag tag band of Earthlings strike back against the Psychlos using long-forgotten, leftover human weaponry like Harrier jets, machine guns, and rocket launchers which amazingly still work just fine even though they’ve been sitting around for a thousand years. Oh yeah, suuuuuure. I take back what I said about the SyFy Channel earlier — even they would’ve passed on this idea as “too ridiculous.” The ending of the film (which, as I understand, only covers about half of L. Ron Hubbard‘s original novel) leaves things open for a sequel, which thankfully will never come to pass.

So in the end, was “Battlefield Earth” the “worst movie ever,” as so many have claimed? No. I can say with some authority that there is much, MUCH worse out there. Was it the worst thing I’ve seen in a while? Oh yes, definitely. Do I ever want to sit through it again? Hell, no! This “Battlefield” is worth a look only for students of truly bad cinema, Travolta completists, members of L. Ron Hubbard’s Church of Scientology (though I bet even they’d find it a tough go) or the terminally out-to-lunch. Looks like I’ve got myself a new beer coaster.

Brought to you by Keith Abt, the Dollar DVD Guy. He suffers through these movies so YOU don’t have to!


Half a Headstone out of 5 (it’s quite bad)

Movie Review “Waxwork”

Quick true story about “Waxwork” before I dive into the meat of my review: I went to a test screening of this film when I was in high school, circa late 1987/early 1988. I thought the film kicked all kinds of butt, and I remember filling out the little comment card at the end of the show (“What did you like about the movie? What didn’t you like?”) raving about the makeup and gore effects, and I probably told them that the blonde who played “China” was “freakin’ hot” or words to that effect. (I have always wondered if that comment got back to her. “Some geek in Jersey thought you were hot, babe.”) I don’t recall if “Waxwork” ever got a legitimate theatrical release after that test screening, but when I rented it on VHS some time later, I was dismayed to find out that much of the kick ass blood and gore shots that I’d grooved on at the free preview had been edited. I am, however, happy to report that the version of “Waxwork” on the double feature DVD released by Artisan Entertainment appears to be that original, uncut version that I saw many years ago. (Though both films are in fullscreen, not widescreen…SIGH! I guess you can’t have everything…) End of commercial.

Okay then!! “Waxwork” is a mostly forgotten lil’ gem of ’80s horror comedy. The plot is pretty simplistic: in a nutshell, Zach Galligan of “Gremlins” fame and a bunch of his fellow spoiled, rich California friends get invited to a “preview showing” at a soon-to-be opened wax museum in their town, only to find when they arrive that they’re destined to become part of the various sculptures. The “waxworks” of such famed evil doers as the Marquis De Sade, Jack the Ripper, Dracula, etc., etc. are actually portals to other dimensions, where the young cannon fodder becomes trapped as part of some sorta convoluted voodoo worshipping plot to unleash Evil on Earth and bring around the End of All Things, or something like that. So the story’s ridiculous, but the various set pieces and segments featuring the “Waxwork” characters are like a sampler platter of some of horror’s greatest moments, particularly the Werewolf segment and the scene set in a den of vampires (where blood literally paints the walls!!!). All Galligan cares about is rescuing his virginal, never-had-it-but-really-wants-to love interest from the grip of the Marquis De Sade, and by the time his godfather (Patrick MacNee of “The Avengers” no less!) and his merry band of British supernatural fighters arrive to save the day, you’re either gonna be laughing your head off or you’re going to be saying “I hate this movie.” I personally would’ve preferred it to lean harder on the “horror” end and less on the “comedy” but when “Waxwork” gets nasty (as in the aforementioned Werewolf and Vampire scenes), it provides a decent amount of shocks and some killer old-school creature and gore FX. First time writer/director Anthony Hickox has become a genre veteran, having gone from “Waxwork” to films like the underrated “Full Eclipse,” “Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth,” and “Warlock: The Armageddon” to name just a few. Perhaps “Waxwork” is still a little rough around the edges but it shows that even at this early stage in his directing career, Hickox already had an eye for cool set pieces, interesting staging, and of course plenty of bloody action.

“Waxwork” is an entertaining little time capsule that should bring a smile to the face of any ’80s horror fan. They really don’t make’em like this anymore.

Brought to you by Keith Abt, the Dollar DVD Guy. He suffers through these movies so YOU don’t have to!


3.5 Headstones out of 5

Movie Review – “Hard Rock Zombies”

Possibly the most RANDOM movie I’ve ever seen!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***

In my never-ending quest for the ultimate in cinematic craptacularity (I made that word up, I own the copyright on it, don’t steal it) the title “Hard Rock Zombies” has come up many times as one of the films I supposedly “had to see to believe”. Luckily, I came across the film on a cheapie 3-film zombie compilation DVD at the local supermarket (!) for only a buck 99, so I happily took it home for a night’s viewing. 90 minutes later, I am still picking my jaw up out of my lap and wondering, “What the HELL have I just seen?” “Hard Rock Zombies” is quite possibly the most random movie I have ever seen. It’s primarily a horror comedy with a rock-n-roll edge, seemingly pasted together from bits and pieces of other films in no particular order. It’s basically a never ending series of “WTF?” moments that will either have you laughing hysterically (as I did) or throwing things at your TV.

Our so-called story: the members of a terrible, mulleted rock band are on their way to a small town in the middle of nowhere to meet up with a record company scout for a showcase gig. A spooky underage chick with bushy eyebrows warns the hunky lead singer “Jesse” not to go there because “They don’t want you.” The band of course ignores the warning, and along the way they pick up a hot blonde hitchhiker who suggests they crash at her place instead of the local hotel. Big mistake. Hot Blonde’s house is populated with the weirdest looking cast of characters this side of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” including a wheelchair-bound, switchblade packing Granny, a couple of twisted looking midgets, and an old guy who we soon find out is Hitler himself. (!!) Adolf’s been in hiding for all these years and has decided that this exact moment is the time to start the Fourth Reich. The creepy house inhabitants murder all four band members and bury them in shallow graves, fortunately they’re brought back to life by the bushy-eyebrowed groupie who plays one of their songs at their gravesite.

From there….well, chaos is the only word to describe the goings-on. The re-animated band members (who now look like KISS and walk like robots) kill the Nazis, who unfortunately become zombies themselves (whoops) and overrun the town. The band’s (still living) manager somehow manages to convince them to play their showcase concert anyway (even though they’re dead), and all the zombies show up and rock out. Then the band leads the zombies Pied-Piper style to a hidden mountain cave outside of town, where they are dispatched by a hidden stash of Hitler’s mustard gas. Seriously. I’m not making this story up folks.

If you can stand the absolutely ludicrous storyline, “Hard Rock Zombies” is a hell of a lot of fun to watch (and make fun of). IMDb sez the movie started out as a short film intended to be a movie within another movie before being padded out to feature length, which explains the interminably long rock concert sequence, as well as a couple of hilariously bad MTV video-style musical montages of zombie munchin’ and hot girl dancin’ amidst all of the mayhem. The acting is laughable, the gore effects are cheap, and a lot of jokes fall flat, but at least there is some nice female eye candy (nice nod to the shower scene in “Psycho” as well, by the way) to balance it all out. Lovers of good ol’ fashioned sleazy grindhouse stuff will have a ball with this one.

“Hard Rock Zombies” is a totally ridiculous mix of blood, boobs and bad music that is so grimy it will leave a film on your teeth. I had a blast, but by the same token I never want to see it again. You’re either going to love it or hate it, but you HAVE to see this movie at least once before you die. Trust me..

Brought to you by Keith Abt, the Dollar DVD Guy. He suffers through these movies so YOU don’t have to!

3 Headstones out of 5

Movie Review – “Incubo sulla città contaminata” a.k.a “City of the Walking Dead”

**NOTE: This review is based on the version of this film known as “City of the Walking Dead.”**

I’ve been getting a crash course in ’70s/’80s Italian horror movies lately thanks to my local dollar store (of all places), where some surprisingly cool titles have been turning up on their DVD rack. A few weeks ago I watched and commented on Dario Argento’s “Creepers” (aka “Phenomena”) and now I’ve also watched the infamous “City of the Walking Dead” (also known as “Nightmare City,” “Nightmare in the Contaminated City” and “Zombie 3,” and possibly a few other titles too, depending on where you are in the world!), which was on the same DVD. I’ve never been a huge fan of Zombie movies outside of the Romero canon, but that’s OK because “City of the Living Dead” (a Spanish/Italian co-production directed by trash movie legend Umberto Lenzi of “Cannibal Ferox” fame) technically isn’t a “zombie movie” anyway, despite its more than passing resemblance to Romero’s “Dawn of the Dead.” The creatures in this film are never referred to as “zombies.” They may have the rotten, scarred look of the Dead Who Walk and they do attack and kill humans, but these “walking dead” have more in common with vampires, as they drink their victims’ blood, rather than eating their flesh. Whatever you wanna call these critters, the movie in which they star is a complete and total Z-Grade hoot and a half. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a film with such cheap effects, terrible acting, and nonsensical script and dialogue, yet I still had a crap load of fun watching it!! The film opens with a news report of a nuclear accident near an unnamed metropolitan area. A TV reporter (played by the incredibly wooden Hugo Stiglitz, a Mexican actor who apparently continues to have a long career in Spanish language TV and film, despite this film being on his resume) is sent to the airport to interview a scientist who is going to update the authorities on the situation. When the airplane lands, a horde of irradiated and irritable zombie-like creatures (with “makeup” that appears to be burnt oatmeal smeared all over their faces) bursts out of the plane, massacres everyone within reach with knives and axes and sucks the blood from them. Before you stop to ask “Wait a minute…since when do zombies use weapons? Are zombies intelligent enough to fly a plane?”, the movie is off and running and you never have a chance to think about it again. Stiglitz and his cameraman haul ass back to the TV station to broadcast a news flash, but are told that an information blackout has been ordered by the military in order to avoid panic. Shortly thereafter the horde of undead attack the TV station (in the midst of what appears to be a broadcast of a “Solid Gold” style disco-dance program) and make short work of the dancers on live television. This scene features some nice gratuitous boob shots and a laughably fake looking scene of a dancer’s nipple being carved right out of her chest by an attacker. Stiglitz battles the undead killers for a while then races to the hospital where his wife (Laura Trotter) works in hopes of getting them both out of the city alive.

City of the Living Dead

The rest of the movie follows Stiglitz and Trotter as they try to find a safe haven from the creatures, mixed with random scenes of Undead attacking various background characters, and a group of military generals who stand around a tiny model of the city and spout a lot of goofball pseudo-scientific dialogue about containing the “contamination.” Especially funny is when they advise police and soldiers that the only way to kill the creatures is to “destroy the brain,” yet anytime you see a soldier open fire on one of’em, they shoot them everywhere except in the head, which of course then ends badly for the shooter. Way to follow orders there, guys. The dialogue is uniformly ridiculous throughout (you can tell it was written by people whose native language is not English), and the special effects waver from being occasionally competent to out-and-out cheap. We see lots of stabbings and throat slashings, a few head explosions, the aforementioned nipple chop, and an eyeball gouging (every Italian horror movie has to have at least one, I suppose) before the finale in an amusement park, where Stiglitz and Trotter battle hordes of the undead while trapped atop a roller coaster (!). I don’t want to violate the Spoiler Warning rules so I won’t even go into the absolutely ridiculous ending except to say it’s the most massive cop-out I’ve ever seen.

So okay, “City of the Walking Dead” was a completely ludicrous piece of Eurotrash grind house cinema. Fortunately it was also fast paced and had enough over-the-top action that it distracted me from the fact that the movie made little to no sense for much of its length. I gotta give Lenzi a little bit of credit for taking what could’ve been a total “Dawn of the Dead” bite and trying to inject something new into the formula, even if the end result is pretty half-assed. This is the kind of film that you watch with a couple of good friends who love bad movies over a case or two of cheap beer. Considering that I only paid a buck for the DVD, I got my money’s worth!

P.S. I absolutely love how the U.S. posters for this movie trumpet the fact that “MEL FERRER, STAR OF TV’s FALCON CREST” stars in it — I guess ol’ Mel must’ve lost a Super Bowl bet with someone and had to appear in this movie as punishment.

Brought to you by Keith Abt, the Dollar DVD Guy. He suffers through these movies so YOU don’t have to!

Headstone City

4.5 Headstones out of 5

Movie Review – “Creature”

Hey there fright fans. We recently added a new ghoul to the Dr. Death-Threads team. Keith Abt “The Dollar DVD Guy”, will be supplying you with his horror-filled movie reviews. Debating on wether or not to watch that fright flick? Don’t worry, we have you covered. Keith will be your go-to-ghoul on all good and bad from the horror bin. His first review is the Klaus Kinski 80’s classic, “Creature“. Enjoy!

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I was a teenager when “Creature” had a short run in theatres back in 1985. Even then I thought it looked like a low budget “Alien” ripoff, and though I loved a good sci-fi B-Movie back in those days (and still do) I never got around to seeing the film for one reason or another. Many years later, thanks to the magic of Public Domain, “Creature” turned up on the DVD rack in my local dollar store (on a double feature disc paired with Mark Hamill’s “Slipstream” no less), so I snagged a copy and sat down for some retro ’80s sci-fi cheese. Call me crazy, but I feel that the B-Movies from this era have more charm and character than any of the CGI-blasted so-called “B’s” that roll into our video stores on a regular basis nowadays, and “Creature” was no exception. It is definitely not original in the slightest but it was still a fun ride.

Klaus Kinski Creature

The plot is serviceable: a future archaeological team on Titan, one of the moons of Saturn, finds a collection of preserved alien life forms in stasis tubes, some of them dating back 20,000 years. Of course, they accidentally break one of the tubes open and the occupant wakes up and has the explorers for lunch. Sometime later a search team is sent from Earth to find out what happened to the first squad, and when they come in for a landing on Titan they find a ship from a rival German corporation already in their planned landing zone. They hurry down to the surface, thinking that their competition has beaten them to the find, which results in their ship crashing and becoming damaged beyond repair. The astronauts explore the seemingly-deserted German ship and are attacked by the title Creature, who looks pretty much like you would expect a low budget ripoff of Giger’s “Alien” to look like… rubbery and toothy. (The creature is kept mostly in shadows for most of the film, doubtlessly to prevent the audience from seeing its threadbare construction in full lighting.) Eventually the lone “name” actor in “Creature’s” cast shows up in the form of Germany’s Klaus Kinski (who usually appears in higher-brow films than this) as the only survivor of the German ship’s crew. He explains that “We’ve found someone’s butterfly collection… but some of these butterflies are not so friendly,” then makes plans to help the American crew reclaim the German ship from its nasty stowaway so they can all return to Earth together. Needless to say, these plans go horribly wrong, so the Creature gets to chow on a few other cast members (and take over using their minds/bodies using parasitic little sucker-creatures attached to their heads) before the remaining survivors manage to mount a final assault and take the critter down.

“Creature” was obviously pretty low budget but despite that it has pretty decent sets and costumes, and a sense of humor that’s often missing from other flicks in this genre. The cast (made up mainly of character actors from television) do their jobs well enough, and the action scenes are better than I expected. I seem to remember this film being rated PG-13 when it was released back in the ’80s but I wonder if that is accurate because of the presence of a few “F-bombs,” some pretty decent gore on display (including a head explosion, a decapitation, and a guy’s face being peeled off of his skull) and some female boobies would’ve definitely called for an “R” in those days. “Creature” kept my interest throughout and is something I’d watch again. Worth a look even if you’re tired of the “Alien” saga and its endless retreads.

Brought to you by Keith Abt, the Dollar DVD Guy. He suffers through these movies so YOU don’t have to!

3 Headstones out of 5

Headstone Rating

Movie Review – “My Bloody Valentine 3-D”

I made it over to my local theater this weekend and I have this to say….Ladies and Gentlemen, the slasher film is back! I’ve said it before; I’m not a fan of recent horror remakes, but occasionally there is a diamond in the rough. My Bloody Valentine 3-D is one of those diamonds. A remake that doesn’t stray too far from the original but also doesn’t make a carbon copy of the original.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Just like the 1981 film, this 2009 remake has solid character development (for a horror flick), interesting locations and balls to the wall gore. I was able to see it in 3-D which made the experience 10 times more enjoyable. Come on! Horror and 3-D go together like peanut butter and jelly. And the filmmakers know this. They take full advantage of the 3-D and deliver the blood right from the get go. 

Tired of all the recent “torture porn”? Me too. So it was nice to see an old-fashioned thriller flick again. Who knows, it might get old real quick once the Friday the 13th remake is released. But let’s enjoy it while it lasts. 

3 Headstones out of 5
3 Headstones